My baby no more....

For the first time in 28 years, my brothers (twins) celebrated their birthday away from home, they are with their respective lady loves in the beautiful island of Boracay. Sadly, me and my sister are not part of the entourage.

I can't help but feel nostalgic, it's been 28 years since they came into our lives. These two cute baby boys brought so much joy to our family and even to our relatives. A week after a tragic flood in our hometown the twins were born. While we were coping from the destruction came a double blessings. Being a doting big sister, I tried everything from changing diapers to washing (feeding) bottles, feeding, bathing, and putting them to sleep. 

When we lost our mother 13 years ago, being the first born I was tasked to look after the family, including raising two boys. I was scared of the kind of man they will become without our mother around. But I believe because they love our mother so much, they managed to make her proud. Now having a career of their own, they made decisions for themselves. And me, as a big sister is very proud that they can somehow stand on their own feet. Maybe they still need a little of help and advice here and there but the fact that they can now plan for their future is good enough for me.

It is not easy to let go of what I got used to. Me, the big sister will always have an opinion with their affairs whether they need it or not. I got mixed emotions, maybe if Nanay is still around she will also feel the same. The twins, they are my baby no more!

credit to the owner of this picture

HOME is where the HEART is

What I planned as an overnight stay because of a dental appointment turned into a week-long stay-cation in Pagsanjan. It's a good thing that I have no urgent meetings to attend, thus I don't have to rush back to Manila. When in Pagsanjan, my return schedule is always indefinite, no fixed time or date. Maybe I missed my old place or maybe I just want to stay more with the family. Since I settled in my own place I rarely visit my hometown, hence in the occasional visits I always take advantage of spending time with my family, just watching TV together, cooking classic hometown dishes that I missed and sharing funny stories of our childhood again and again.

credit to the owner of this photo

For a week I stayed in my sister's home, which is just s few meters away from my parent's house. This was a chance to bond with my two other siblings. After college they opted to stay and work in the province, while me and my brother preferred to stay in the city. Occasionally they visit us in Manila, to dine out, watch a movie or to buy some stuff. There is a certain joy when the four of us are together. My fondest memories of us will be back in my room every Saturday morning. Back in college I go home every Friday (late) night from Manila, the following morning my brothers about 3 to 4 years old then will peek into my door to check if I'm already awake and the four of us will stay in my bed for maybe 30 mins wrestling, playing, in short "harutan" before we have breakfast.

We have two additional members of the family, and spending a whole week with them is just perfect especially with the charming little girl. She's really funny, smart and cute, I see her with a happy disposition in life, although she can be very stubborn at times. I also got to see and chat with my father for a week. I got to bond with a cousin too, we ate together, nap together and teased the little girl together.

I have my own private space, my current home sweet home, but there is something in Pagsanjan that I always want to go back to. Is it my childhood memories, is it my family, the memories of my Nanay, or my happy thoughts? We can go places, travel the world but we'll always go back to where we came from, because truly home is where the heart is. 

Why I hated my sister

I was a happy peaceful kid until my sister came into my life. How can I forget August 01, 19XX, people were in panic mode because my mother was giving birth. In our home town, most normal births happen at home with the help of a midwife. But she was special, aside from the midwife my cousin, a nursing student, was also present to assist.

That day I became a big sister, I was 6 years old and my life has never been the same. I hated her for many reasons.

• I have to share my parents with her.  Shared attention, care and love. 
• I have to get used to being compared to her, she was prettier, she's more loved.
• I have to look after her when my mother is busy, and playtime was cut short.
• I have to do the house chores because I'm the eldest while she was playing all the time.
• I have to set good examples .
• I have to protect her, guide her, care for her and love her all my life.

Credit to the owner of the photo

I wished our neighbors and relatives did not compare us when we were kids. I wished they never told me my parent don't love me anymore. I wished I never been jealous of her. I wished I've been a doting big sister from the beginning. Then she would have been happier, and we've been closer. 

She's always been a good sister, she looks up to me and never stopped loving me. Even when I refuse to lend her my shoes or clothes, even if she complains how masungit I am to her, and how kuripot in giving her allowance. We became closer when we lost our Mother. Since then we had each other's back, looking after the family and making the most of the lives the Lord gave us. We are partners in crime.

I hope she knows that I loved her since day 1, I may not have the chance to show it growing up, but I always do. Happy birthday Karen, you're my favorite sister.

From Nisha Patel